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What You Didn't Say

by Hawk From a Handsaw

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1.
Don't Wear Black For Me 04:32
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Set the scene Fireplace Lit up like the devil's bed And an empty face Reading empty words About a boy and a girl who fall in love The way nobody really does Put down the book Lay on your side Pretend the sitcoms are enough And fall asleep to your lie But a memory appears Like the snow comes the years And the animal side comes out again When your hands become my hands Against the soft of your neck And the curl in your hair And the beat in your chest And the person you knew before the summer ended Is back again Keep it close like a second heart How have the nights been treating you How do you keep up this charade I know I couldn't do it if it were me in your place Is it hard Is it hard to watch somebody tear apart and become something else Or do you still have faith Can you even still breathe This is temporary So hold on to the old me I'll need some reminding When I finally give in And the beast has got the best of me bring me back to who I need to be Keep it close like a second heart Describe the monster I've become Don't spare the details I need those little details How do I look to you now With my teeth out and your guard down Am I everything that you've been afraid of
2.
The '90s Disease 03:08
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I can't stop playing video games Or get myself up off the couch I wish that I could find a way To drag my bones out of this house I just sit and rot in my own stink I can't even think anymore Bags of chips on the floor And sodas piling up behind me I sit here in my apathy And wait for someone to rescue me Get me out, I need saving And no one is coming And mom's on the phone so I can't watch porn 'Cause the goddamn dial-up is so slow I haven't had a meal in days I'm fucking wasting away I sit here in my apathy And wait for someone to rescue me So wake me up Send for help SOS Straight from hell I'm devouring myself Can't you tell? But I don't sleep, I don't sleep I don't sleep, I don't sleep I should probably get a job but I don't wanna conform Mom's pulling out her hair, she don't want this anymore And I sit here in my apathy And wait for someone to rescue me Flannel shirts and highlight knots Smudged mascara, here I rot Making out to TV static The lack of caring here is magic
3.
I Wish There Was A Hallmark Card For This 04:00
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I'm sorry I turned out like this I guess that's just the way it is I didn't know my mind would go I didn't know that you wouldn't know How to help me That you'd deny it That you couldn't understand How the monsters under the bed were always real to me And reality must've slipped Out from my fingers somewhere along the line I'm fine I'm fine I might mean it this time I'm sorry I don't dress the right way I'm sorry I don't know what to say When I don't agree with what's being said I can't keep opinions inside my head You're embarrassed, admit it You don't want me around And when I'm nowhere to be found You're always calling Some days I can't make the voices go away It's fine Don't stay We need it this way Dear friends When you get this note, just know It wasn't you It was never you Dear mom and dad I hope you do better with the next kid I'm sure they'll be great It's never too late Dearly beloved We've gathered to say goodbye To a girl who was losing her mind Dearly beloved You promised you wouldn't cry Or pretend like you ever gave a damn Dear friends When you get this note, just know It wasn't you It was never you
4.
Jupiter Island 03:26
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I don't know what to do anymore And that's what's messing me up the most One more street sign till home Or at least what they told me was home I just wanted to be something beautiful More than I wanted to be alive So I thought it tragically pretty to die But I'm too scared of nothing So I'm too scared to try And so many people promised to never leave my side And they did I feel so weak, and stupid And worthless, and useless 'Cause I don't know how to be by myself I can't get out of bed but I can never ask for help I'm already who I said I'd never be And no one wants to deal with me I'm fucking on my knees Eating isn't an option I've been dead for a whole damn week Eating is being alive again I'm not ready I just wanted to be something beautiful One more street sign till home
5.
Trailer Park Blues 05:09
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My pretty baby, he loves me swell But I been puttin' him through all sorts of hell He didn't get me that new car, so he couldn't come home He didn't satisfy my needs, so he slept alone My pretty baby, he loves me fine But everybody tells him I'm a waste of his time They say that I'm only using him to buy me things But all I ever really wanted was a wedding ring Woke up this morning He'd already gone Packed his shit, took the car and left By eight in the morning Said he never could love a drunk so he never loved me No he never could love a slut so he never loved No he never never never never loved No he never never never never loved No he never never never never loved never loved me My baby daddy's got a baby girl She looks just like her father and she's my world But I can't afford the diapers and I can't pay rent Men think money for sex is money well spent I don't know if he's coming home My baby's getting bigger, she is almost grown She doesn't know what I do to feed her And when she says she's fine I don't believe her Powder on the table and men on the couch I sent her away, she's staying at a friends house I couldn't let her see me like this The world is hard
6.
The Sea In A Bottle 03:59
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The nights The nights are far too long And I can't take it anymore Been tearing at my skin to get the itching in my bones to go away I scream, I shake The earth it quakes The world moves way too slow inside the dark And I just want some sleep I just want some sleep Selfish I know When I ask you to stay But you look so pretty with those lights around your face Stop asking what it was I don't know Just whatever I could get my hands on I'm running out of coherent things to say So stay I just want some sleep I just want some sleep There's a few more hours in the night And just minutes in a life And in this room there's a million things happening Your six colored eyes keep sweating out lies Saying I'll be alright if I fight But the world is so bright Galaxies spin out from my chest And every breath is exploding Open my heart, out fall the stars That tear me apart like they own me Just for tonight don't make me fight it 'Cause I can feel myself corroding So hold me I'm corroding I just want some sleep Please just let me sleep There's a few more hours in the night And just minutes in a life And in this room there's a million things happening Your six colored eyes keep sweating out lies Saying I'll be alright if I fight But the world is so bright

about

Recorded in late July of 2013, What You Didn't Say is Hawk From a Handsaw's first official recording and their demo EP. They think it's pretty alright and that you'd probably like it if you gave it a listen or two.

credits

released February 2, 2014

Mickey Birdsall // Vocals
James Galdamez // Bass
Alexa Johnson // Guitar
Cole Johnson // Drums

Michael Mannarino // Additional guitars, engineering, producing, mixing, mastering, and several things we are probably forgetting.
Niki Ross // Album art

Thanks to everyone who's supported us as we've worked to get here: everyone who's come to a show, watched our videos, or come here to download the demo. This whole experience has been a total treat and we're getting emotional just thinking about it. Believe us, we're crying right now. Big thanks to Mom and Dad Johnson for letting us use the basement to be noisy hooligans all the time. We're pretty sure your eardrums will recover eventually.

Mickey wants to thank their mother for being hella supportive of our music, even though she thinks there's too many cuss words. They also wants to thank their friends for taking an interest in our music, especially Sarah for letting them drag her around to practices and for coming to most of our shows.

Alexa wants to thank Mickey for being patient with her when she plays the wrong things. Which is most of the time.

Cole wants to thank the rest of the band for doing all of the actual work and letting him hit stuff.

James wants to thank himself for being a bad motherfucker.

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Hawk From a Handsaw Frederick, Maryland

Hawk From a Handsaw is made up of four kids from Maryland who sometimes play tunes. We want to make you think about death and get sad and stuff.

James Galdamez // Bass
Mickey Birdsall // Vocals
Alexa Johnson // Guitar
Cole Johnson // Drums ... more

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